Sacred Ground Ministries

I used to think I didn’t have a testimony. In many ways I am just an average girl from an average place.

As much as I am aware of my own insignificance in the unfolding of human history,  I am equally aware of the extraordinary act it took to redeem an average girl. Namely the magnificent movement of Jesus putting on human flesh and dying under the wrath of God. There came a time when I really understood the gravity of my sin, that the price for it is blood. There was a point in history where I accepted Jesus’ death in place of my own. However, what God has been gently reminding me of lately is what else His breaking into human history has done for me.

For those who I’ve shared my story with, you have probably heard me say that I don’t think I would be the person I am today if not for God intervening in my life. Of course, that can be said of all Christians. God acts supernaturally on our behalf when we were utterly hopeless and helpless. But, for me, the reality is that God gently guided me off one road, that from the outside didn’t seem so bad, and brought me into green pastures.

When I came to the Lord, in the truest sense, I was so confused. Confused about who He was, and as a result of that breakdown in whose image I bear, confused about who I was. First, I had very little understanding of who God was and how it was that I should get to know Him. My picture of God was something of a mythic archetype. Was God powerful? Yes. Was God reachable? Only if you mastered the “formula.” Was God pleased with me? Only if I performed.

God has slowly changed and completely erased these images and is walking with me daily to greater understanding. Coming to know God as He truly is has been an incredible journey. It has helped me entrust myself to Him because I know that He is trustworthy. A.W. Tozer is credited with saying,

“What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.”

This is because it directs how we think, act, and feel. When God is powerful but only reachable under the right circumstances, He is reduced to the title of capricious and I am frustrated and disappointed, trying to speak a language I have never heard. What turned me around from this was being discipled by other Christians. Jesus’ plan for changing the world is through a disciple who is making other disciples (Matthew 28). Without discipleship, would I have been saved? I believe so. But would I be walking in the abundant life that Jesus speaks about in John 10? I’m not sure.

I recently heard on a counseling podcast that the question we all search for an answer most is, “Am I truly loved?” It is the ache of our soul to know and believe that we are loved without condition. I think for a big part of my life, I struggled to believe that. Perhaps you have, too. And not necessarily because of any other human’s shortcomings but rather because it is a great chasm we each must overcome in this life. Perhaps human reassurance is not enough to convince us of our belovedness, no matter how many times we are told of it. I know it wasn’t for me.

What had to happen for me to understand this was nothing short of miraculous. And while some miracles happen in an instant, others are slow-cooked, coming into reality day by day. Understanding God’s love for me brought me from a place of near self-hatred, and constant comparison with others to a place of understanding who I was as a truly loved person made in the image of a truly loving God. And, this miracle is still ongoing. Daily God shows me more of His character, and daily He touches places in my heart that need to know that yes, even there, I am loved.

I am grateful that I am not who I once was.

God, through extraordinary means, is taking an average girl and making her believe she is truly loved and is teaching her how to love Himself as He truly is.

This is my testimony.

What’s your story? I would love to hear about what God is showing you in your life. Let’s connect!

Thanks for reading,